Pregnant at 42 as a Black Woman: One Therapist’s Real Journey Through Fear, Faith & Mental Health

Written By Lindsey Dial

According to the world, I had everything against me.

I was 42. Black. And suddenly—pregnant.

I had always envisioned motherhood, but as the years passed, that vision started to feel more complicated than I imagined. So I did what many high-achieving women do—I shifted my focus to what I could control.

My career. My growth. My purpose.

Until one unexpected doctor’s appointment changed everything.

My OB-GYN told me, very directly: “If motherhood is something you want, you need to shift your focus now.”

And just like that, I was on a journey I wasn’t fully prepared for—emotionally, mentally, or even spiritually.

When “Advanced Maternal Age” Becomes Personal

Let’s talk about the term no one prepares you for: “Geriatric pregnancy.”

Clinically, it refers to women 35 and older.

Emotionally? It hits differently.

Nothing about me felt 42. Not my energy, not my lifestyle, not even my mindset. But in a medical setting, I was suddenly categorized as “high risk.”

And that label can quietly impact your confidence.

You start questioning:

  • Your body

  • Your timing

  • Your decisions

For many women—especially Black women—this isn’t just medical. It’s deeply personal.

Blocking the Noise: Fear, Statistics, and Reality

Very early in my journey, I had to learn one thing quickly:

You have to block the noise.

And by noise, I mean:

  • Statistics telling you your chances are low

  • Conversations about complications

  • The rising rates of maternal mortality for Black women

  • The constant reminders of what could go wrong

That kind of information doesn’t just inform you—it can overwhelm you.

At some point, I had to decide: What am I going to hold onto—and what am I going to release?

Pregnant During a Crisis: The Emotional Weight

Now layer this on top of a global pandemic.

I wasn’t just pregnant—I was pregnant during COVID-19, during social unrest, during a time when the world felt uncertain in every way.

There were days when the emotional weight felt like too much:

  • Watching constant news of death and loss

  • Seeing repeated trauma in the Black community

  • Feeling guilty for even complaining because I had prayed for this moment

So I did what many women do…

I held it in.

The Reality No One Talks About

There are parts of pregnancy—especially in this context—that people don’t talk about enough.

1. The Emotional Rollercoaster

Pregnancy hormones alone are intense.

Now add:

  • Fear

  • Isolation

  • Uncertainty

There were moments where the emotions felt constant and overwhelming.

2. Isolation Hits Different

Normally, pregnancy is surrounded by community.

But during this time:

  • No gatherings

  • Limited family interaction

  • No in-person support at appointments

Even milestone moments—hearing the heartbeat, learning the gender—were experienced alone.

3. Loss of Normal Coping Tools

The usual outlets weren’t available:

  • No spa days

  • No gym

  • No social gatherings

I had to relearn how to cope in a completely new way.

4. Fear for Your Child

It’s one thing to fear for yourself.

It’s another to fear for your unborn child—especially when so much is unknown.

That fear can be heavy. At times, even crippling.

The Mental Health Reality for Pregnant Women

As a clinician, I also understood what was happening beneath the surface.

Research shows:

  • Many pregnant women experience anxiety and depression

  • During COVID-19, those numbers increased significantly

  • Over 70% of women reported symptoms of anxiety or depression during that time

And yet, so many women suffer silently.

What Helped Me Cope

I had to be intentional about protecting my mental health.

Here’s what made a difference:

1. Curating My Environment

I became selective about:

  • What I watched

  • What I listened to

  • Who I surrounded myself with

Because energy matters—especially during pregnancy.

2. Creating New Self-Care Routines

Since my usual outlets were gone, I leaned into:

  • Walking outside

  • Resting when my body needed it

  • Creating quiet moments for myself

Even small acts made a difference.

3. Leaning on My Support System

Even when it looked different, support was still essential.

I had people who checked on me, who showed up, who reminded me I wasn’t alone.

4. Giving Myself Grace

Some days were harder than others.

And I had to accept that.

The Unexpected Blessings

Despite everything, there were moments of unexpected peace.

  • Being home allowed me to rest when I needed to

  • I experienced parts of pregnancy privately, without outside pressure

  • I wasn’t “missing out” because the world had slowed down

There was a quietness to it that, in some ways, felt protective.

Holding Both Truths at Once

Here’s what I’ve learned:

This journey can be hard and beautiful.

You can feel:

  • Fear and excitement

  • Gratitude and overwhelm

  • Strength and vulnerability

All at the same time.

And all of it is valid.

For the Woman Reading This

If you are a Black woman in your 40s navigating pregnancy…

I want you to know:

  • You are not behind

  • You are not alone

  • You are allowed to feel everything that comes with this journey

And most importantly:

You don’t have to carry it by yourself.

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

At For Every Mountain Counseling Services®, we specialize in supporting high-achieving Black women through life transitions—including fertility, pregnancy, and motherhood.

You deserve a space where you feel:

  • Seen

  • Understood

  • Supported

Start Your Journey Today

Virtual therapy available. Insurance accepted.

Book your consultation today and get the support you deserve.

Sources

Lindsey Dial
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